Marriage
Listen to Part 1 - Podcast Here
Hey there, folks! Joe Lester here with my lovely wife, Ann, and we’re diving into one of the most important and transformative topics: marriage. This isn’t just any conversation; we’re talking about marriage as God designed it. We’ll touch on biblical truths, personal struggles, and practical advice to help strengthen your relationship with your spouse and Jesus Christ.
We know this might step on a few toes, but sometimes, a little truth does. So, let’s jump right in.
What Is Marriage?
To put it plainly, marriage is a divine covenant between a born-again man and a born-again woman. It’s not about paperwork, government recognition, or societal standards. It’s a union ordained by God to represent Christ’s love for the Church.
In Ephesians 5:25-33 (ESV), Paul gives us the blueprint for marriage:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
This isn’t about control or dominance; it’s about selfless love, sacrificial care, and unity.
Marriage isn’t about religion or tradition—it’s about relationship. Jesus didn’t come to create religion; He came to build a relationship with us. Marriage mirrors this. It’s a living, breathing reflection of Christ’s love for us, His bride, the Church.
Problems in Marriage
Let’s be real. Marriage is beautiful, but it’s not always easy. Here are some common issues we see, along with biblical principles to address them:
1. Lack of Communication
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20)
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (Colossians 4:6)
Bottling things up leads to bigger issues. Talk it out—even if it’s uncomfortable.
Listen more, speak less, and seek understanding.
Pray without ceasing—take everything to God and always keep open communication with your spouse.
2. Selflessness
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)
We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
Marriage isn’t about “me”; it’s about “us”.
True love is selfless, not self-seeking.
Jesus showed the ultimate love by laying down His life for us—this is the love we should reflect in our marriage.
3. Unequal Yoking
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? (Amos 3:3)
If any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:12-14)
If you’re married to someone who doesn’t share your faith, pray for them and remain steadfast in your walk with Christ.
Don’t marry someone that is unequally yoked, and think you can change them, only Jesus Christ can save them.
4. Not Putting God First
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:17)
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15)
If God isn’t first, your marriage will struggle.
Prioritize your relationship with Him above all else.
Jesus Christ, Spouse, Children, then Others.
Marriage isn’t about just making it work—it’s about thriving together in Christ-centered unity. Whether you’re newly married, struggling, or years into a strong marriage, God’s design is the key to a joyful, fulfilling relationship.
Let’s be the rule breakers—rejecting the world’s view of marriage and embracing God’s perfect plan.
Listen to Part 1 - Podcast Here
Listen to Part 2 - Podcast Here
5. Chores and Responsibilities
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13)
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
Help each other out. Marriage is teamwork, there is no I in team.
Don’t keep score—serve one another willingly with love.
A strong marriage is built on selfless service to one another with the love of Jesus.
6. Money
For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. (1 Timothy 6:10)
Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine. (Proverbs 3:9-10)
One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in very little is also dishonest in much. If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? (Luke 16:10-11)
Finances can strain a marriage, but open communication, wise stewardship, and putting God first in your finances can bring peace.
Be faithful in little, and God will entrust you with more.
Marriage is a partnership—manage finances together, not separately.
7. Intimacy
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19)
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (Hebrews 13:4)
Intimacy is a vital part of marriage.
It’s not just about physical connection; it’s about emotional and spiritual unity.
A healthy marriage embraces intimacy as God’s design, not as a burden or obligation.
8. Parenting and Marriage
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5)
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)
Children are a blessing, but they’re not the center of your marriage—God is.
Your spouse comes before your kids.
Teach your children how to be godly husbands and wives by modeling a Christ-centered marriage.
Our Struggles and Growth
No marriage is not perfect. We’ve faced our own struggles:
Joe’s Challenge: Communication doesn’t come naturally, but intentional efforts make a difference.
Ann’s Challenge: Letting go of anger and nitpicking is a daily effort.
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. (Romans 12:10)
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. (James 5:16)
We’re not perfect, but by God’s grace, we’ve grown stronger together.
Prayer and unity have helped us overcome struggles.
A Challenge for You
Take this challenge to strengthen your marriage:
Listen to this podcast together.
Spend a weekend together—no kids, no distractions, just the two of you. Talk about everything until there’s nothing left to say.
Write down your issues. Work on solutions together.
Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9)
If you need help, reach out to us for encouragement or prayer.
The Foundation of Marriage: Jesus
If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, that’s the first step. Recognize that He died for your sins, rose again, and wants a relationship with you.
If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)
Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. (Matthew 7:24-25)
Your marriage must be built on the Rock—Jesus Christ.
Without Jesus as the foundation, you have no marriage, marriage is a representation of our relationship with Jesus, we as born-again Christ followers are the bride of Christ, that's what makes marriage so special is we are representing our relationship with Jesus for eternity right here on earth, how amazing is that.
Marriage is a gift from God, designed to reflect His love for us.
Put Christ at the center, love selflessly, and walk this journey together.
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:14)
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)
Thank you for reading, We’re praying for your marriage and your walk with Jesus.
Until next time, may the good Lord bless you and your marriage abundantly.
– Joe & Ann Lester